心情有点儿不好啊。。
谁会了解我现在的烦恼。。。
其实我真的希望只有你会了解的。。。
我希望是我会全部一个一个随时随刻跟你讲我的心情。而我也知道你有你自己的烦。关于我的工作，我的爸妈哥，还有其它的。我本来希望有了你，我会尽快离开我现在的家。然后开始我们想要的生活。但我知道你有你的困难所以每办法尽快把那个愿望变成真。我也会了解的。因为那个是很重要的事。所以我们开始之前约好了是我要等你。
其实刚才我的好朋友说他今年要结婚，心里有点不安。让我想一想我自己 ：“我呢？”
我知道你爱我。我也是有同样的心。我知道我们是一起珍惜和努力这个爱情的事。所以为了我们的这个缘分，珍惜我们的感情，珍惜我们的约定，最后是为了珍惜我觉得很值得的你，我还要跟我自己说要忍耐要跟加爱你支持你。希望有一天你会懂我这个的心，也会懂我的努力。
希望我没有白白的等待。希望我的忍耐会有完美的结果。
爱你。。。
Friday, February 17, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Two is Stronger Than One
Yesterday, i'd just passed my valentine which is actually so nice and special. We didn't have a romantic candle light dinner or how the people usually describe about. We just stayed at Hun's house. Eat just some noodle and fried rice at dining room so casually. Then we watched DVD, and take time together. I love the time when it just two of us.
But, a lil misunderstood came, and we responsed not so nicely. Moreover, i became thinking too much. Well, i feel sad about that and i hope we can try to understand each other synchronize better next time..
I'd like when we can share each other feeling, but i know Hun just can't be like that. He likes to show me the way he love me with his crazy things to make me laugh n a lil bit mad / angry. And also, i read my blog "Dear Honey" to him.. (he doesn't know that post before). Maybe i expect him to say something sweet just to response me nicely. But, his character is just can't be like that. So, he just said some plain words bla bla. When it happened, i feel he was soooo damn "i-hate-you-so-much". Somehow i think bla-bla-bla, why he always like that, make jokes from me, and can't tell me what he felt. Feels insecure. Hiks.
After a few moments, i rethink again. Well, actually i know already. I understand already, how is my Hun's character. And i can't push him to be what i want. I should be so grateful for however he is now. Then, suddenly i smile... Thinking all the sweet moments with him. Maybe it just can't be as smooth as all the way i want. But, i know he tried already with his own ways, and he means it. And later i like it. Coz, those are Hun's way to prove his caring and love to me.
I love when we ate together at his dining table, and we set our food together. I love when he always take my heavy bag. I love when he was so shy to tell me what he "want". I love when he hug me from my back. I love when he stare at my eyes with silent just enjoy our moment. I love when he always tickle me just to make jokes and laugh from me (even actually i can't hold anymore hahaha). I love when he act stupid and crazy. Maybe i love too when he said that i am fat, my cheek is so big, etc. He was so rare to tell me that i am beautiful or kind like that, even he always do the opposite words. Yeah, but that's his caring way..
However, i used to explain, to describe what am i feeling. Nicely. Seriously. Like this. And the fact is Hun isn't like that and can't be like that. So, i don't want to always complain about that. I understand it (wrote it five times i think --___--;;). Loving him just how the way he is..
Sometimes, it doesn't need any words to show your love. Its name is trust. Each other.
Hold on our hands together. Coz two is stronger than one.
I love you, my Hun....
Happy Valentine to dear all of you..♥♥♥..
But, a lil misunderstood came, and we responsed not so nicely. Moreover, i became thinking too much. Well, i feel sad about that and i hope we can try to understand each other synchronize better next time..
I'd like when we can share each other feeling, but i know Hun just can't be like that. He likes to show me the way he love me with his crazy things to make me laugh n a lil bit mad / angry. And also, i read my blog "Dear Honey" to him.. (he doesn't know that post before). Maybe i expect him to say something sweet just to response me nicely. But, his character is just can't be like that. So, he just said some plain words bla bla. When it happened, i feel he was soooo damn "i-hate-you-so-much". Somehow i think bla-bla-bla, why he always like that, make jokes from me, and can't tell me what he felt. Feels insecure. Hiks.
After a few moments, i rethink again. Well, actually i know already. I understand already, how is my Hun's character. And i can't push him to be what i want. I should be so grateful for however he is now. Then, suddenly i smile... Thinking all the sweet moments with him. Maybe it just can't be as smooth as all the way i want. But, i know he tried already with his own ways, and he means it. And later i like it. Coz, those are Hun's way to prove his caring and love to me.
I love when we ate together at his dining table, and we set our food together. I love when he always take my heavy bag. I love when he was so shy to tell me what he "want". I love when he hug me from my back. I love when he stare at my eyes with silent just enjoy our moment. I love when he always tickle me just to make jokes and laugh from me (even actually i can't hold anymore hahaha). I love when he act stupid and crazy. Maybe i love too when he said that i am fat, my cheek is so big, etc. He was so rare to tell me that i am beautiful or kind like that, even he always do the opposite words. Yeah, but that's his caring way..
However, i used to explain, to describe what am i feeling. Nicely. Seriously. Like this. And the fact is Hun isn't like that and can't be like that. So, i don't want to always complain about that. I understand it (wrote it five times i think --___--;;). Loving him just how the way he is..
Sometimes, it doesn't need any words to show your love. Its name is trust. Each other.
Hold on our hands together. Coz two is stronger than one.
I love you, my Hun....
Happy Valentine to dear all of you..♥♥♥..
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Sealed Mouth
I think it's better for me to always keep quiet, huh? When i talked my feelings to you, i hate when the answers just only "yes..", "sorry...", or you even afraid your answer gonna make me angry. You always said to me to express what am i feeling, so that you know. Then i am trying to be open to you. After you know, what will you do? "I don't have any words to say..... i don't know.....". WTF is that answer !! Can't you just a lil trying to say some nice words? I think, next time i better not saying nice words to you, than i feel disappointed if you didn't response nicely.
I'm tired for always trying to be nice to you, while you don't try that when i'm mad. I need your response, your love, your expression, your total effort to try to be nice to me. Not just try nice once, then if i don't react like what you want then you go keep silent and nothing again. I'm tired to always control my emotion, just because to avoid we fight. Coz when i tell you bla bla too much, i know you maybe gonna think too much too, then it will change your attitude to me, or maybe your feeling to me. And i don't want that happened. I don't want to feel that i am the only one who trying to love you with so much effort, while you are sooooo damn nothing..... That's make me easily to feel insecure.
I hate when you can't try to be nice to me, while you said you already nice to me. Most of all, i hate myself to always say "Well, it's ok...", then i am thinking that maybe you have many reasons why that was happened... bla bla... I always said to myself "Okay... it's ok.. he also nice to me..." bla bla... Then my heart suddenly seems fine.
Like this time too.
I need to be understood. Too.
Well............ i am okay..... nothing happened..... You fine? I fine.
Nice.
I need to be understood. Too.
Well............ i am okay..... nothing happened..... You fine? I fine.
Nice.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
What are you thinking now?
00.42 AM.. *as usual* late night...
I had a very nice weekend last week. Actually the whole last week was quite nice. I like the time when i sleep overnight in Hun's house. We do nothing special, just ordinary activities and accompany him in his wok things till we go sleep. But, it made me feel so special since no other people can do like this to you. I feel it's so nice when i wake up in the morning the first i see is you. (Eventhough very very hard to wake you up -___-;;).
Then, we went to Hun's friend wedding party. The party wasn't so special. The special thing is i can feel Hun's sincerely heart to take me out thereband we met some important people there. I told you already, he doesn't like to explain a lot bout his feeling. But i can feel what is he trying to do.
After that, well it's already friday !! TGIF ! And goes to Saturday. Pretty nice weekend, like people always said. We prepared ourself together before we go out, then we went to eat some foods then we watched movie. End the night with goes to club just both of us. I like that for this time. And, sunday night we went to our best friend's birthday party.
It's already monday again today. And suddenly so many things come up in my mind. Thinking bout you, Hun. Today i feel you are tired and kind of thinking something while we were go out together. I was wondering what are you thinking, but i don't want to bother your mind, i thought you must be so tired. Are you thinking bout your work, or bout our relationship, or you just tired?
You are sleeping now. You know that i'm so easy to feel unsecure.. I'm thinking bout our relationship. -__-. And suddenly i just miss you so much. Miss your presence. And just wanted us to be together, doing things together, doing works together, doing anything with each other presence. But, i am afraid if only me feel like that, and you don't :(. Do i hope too much for our relationship? Or actually you feel that also? Or shouldn't i think too much bout this relationship and just go on - see how will the end be?
Or maybe i'm just too serious person? I used to think things seriously, and think long forward. Shouldn't i? Hope for less, then disappointed less too...
Still the same, love you honey..
I had a very nice weekend last week. Actually the whole last week was quite nice. I like the time when i sleep overnight in Hun's house. We do nothing special, just ordinary activities and accompany him in his wok things till we go sleep. But, it made me feel so special since no other people can do like this to you. I feel it's so nice when i wake up in the morning the first i see is you. (Eventhough very very hard to wake you up -___-;;).
Then, we went to Hun's friend wedding party. The party wasn't so special. The special thing is i can feel Hun's sincerely heart to take me out thereband we met some important people there. I told you already, he doesn't like to explain a lot bout his feeling. But i can feel what is he trying to do.
After that, well it's already friday !! TGIF ! And goes to Saturday. Pretty nice weekend, like people always said. We prepared ourself together before we go out, then we went to eat some foods then we watched movie. End the night with goes to club just both of us. I like that for this time. And, sunday night we went to our best friend's birthday party.
It's already monday again today. And suddenly so many things come up in my mind. Thinking bout you, Hun. Today i feel you are tired and kind of thinking something while we were go out together. I was wondering what are you thinking, but i don't want to bother your mind, i thought you must be so tired. Are you thinking bout your work, or bout our relationship, or you just tired?
You are sleeping now. You know that i'm so easy to feel unsecure.. I'm thinking bout our relationship. -__-. And suddenly i just miss you so much. Miss your presence. And just wanted us to be together, doing things together, doing works together, doing anything with each other presence. But, i am afraid if only me feel like that, and you don't :(. Do i hope too much for our relationship? Or actually you feel that also? Or shouldn't i think too much bout this relationship and just go on - see how will the end be?
Or maybe i'm just too serious person? I used to think things seriously, and think long forward. Shouldn't i? Hope for less, then disappointed less too...
Still the same, love you honey..
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Dear Honey...
It's been a month since our promise to get together, after we've been so close for about couple or three months before...
Like usual, now is late night, and i am on the mood to write what am i feeling right now...
At this point, i'd just want to stop for a while, thinking about what have been happenned between us. Maybe it's hard for me or for us to synchronize each other at the beginning. But, after go on and on, our relationship become comfortable for each of us more and more. I see things and cases from your views, and i get understand how the way you think and feel. So then, i found it was very wonderful.
Somehow, what i said, "committed for-willing-to-love" is very important. And no revenge in the relationship is also very very important. That points i think gonna make our relationship stronger and stronger.
I am not a perfect person, neither you also. You have lot of weaknesses. But, i think i like your weaknesses. You like to get angry. But later i found that i have my own fault too, and i need to try better next time. You like to complain about your life, and feel a lil desperate with what happenned. But, actually i am very proud of you, for anything happenned in your life. Even that's bad thing. I know you can survive for yourself, and you are caring with your family. Even you said you hate them, i know that your hate is not truly hate. Deep inside your heart, you love them so...
You talked a lot when you are around your friends and me. But, when it's started to talk about what-do-you-feel, sometimes you can't explain that clearly. Well, that's okay. I can understand. However i can feel your feelings, happy, or sad, or which one do you like or not. I can feel your caring to me, your effort to me, and your appreciation for our time being together.
Day by day, i know you better, and i love you more. I like doing so much little things with you. I missed your presence so much, when you are not around. I feel safe with you. Even though sometimes i don't (hehe), but i know you will always try to make me feel safe.
Hun, It's quite a long way so that i can feel what i feel so comfortable with you right now. Thank you for our togetherness, also for everything just happened, even that was nice or bad things. I am glad you can share with me, about your work, your family, your problems, your friends, your hobbies and everything in your life... I want to always support you, hold on our hands together, encourage you, and pray for you, because i know that you can do so much things in your life even sometimes problems come and feel so complicated for it. However, i am proud of you. and i trust you.
I love you, and i still want to love you...
Like usual, now is late night, and i am on the mood to write what am i feeling right now...
At this point, i'd just want to stop for a while, thinking about what have been happenned between us. Maybe it's hard for me or for us to synchronize each other at the beginning. But, after go on and on, our relationship become comfortable for each of us more and more. I see things and cases from your views, and i get understand how the way you think and feel. So then, i found it was very wonderful.
Somehow, what i said, "committed for-willing-to-love" is very important. And no revenge in the relationship is also very very important. That points i think gonna make our relationship stronger and stronger.
I am not a perfect person, neither you also. You have lot of weaknesses. But, i think i like your weaknesses. You like to get angry. But later i found that i have my own fault too, and i need to try better next time. You like to complain about your life, and feel a lil desperate with what happenned. But, actually i am very proud of you, for anything happenned in your life. Even that's bad thing. I know you can survive for yourself, and you are caring with your family. Even you said you hate them, i know that your hate is not truly hate. Deep inside your heart, you love them so...
You talked a lot when you are around your friends and me. But, when it's started to talk about what-do-you-feel, sometimes you can't explain that clearly. Well, that's okay. I can understand. However i can feel your feelings, happy, or sad, or which one do you like or not. I can feel your caring to me, your effort to me, and your appreciation for our time being together.
Day by day, i know you better, and i love you more. I like doing so much little things with you. I missed your presence so much, when you are not around. I feel safe with you. Even though sometimes i don't (hehe), but i know you will always try to make me feel safe.
Hun, It's quite a long way so that i can feel what i feel so comfortable with you right now. Thank you for our togetherness, also for everything just happened, even that was nice or bad things. I am glad you can share with me, about your work, your family, your problems, your friends, your hobbies and everything in your life... I want to always support you, hold on our hands together, encourage you, and pray for you, because i know that you can do so much things in your life even sometimes problems come and feel so complicated for it. However, i am proud of you. and i trust you.
I love you, and i still want to love you...
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