Need to explode something

Just 3 days ago, i wrote so nice things, then today i write again not in a good-mood condition.

I still don't know what things really make me angry. Hmm, maybe not angry. Just... a little..... disappointed, or maybe.... not feeling good.
Still don't know too what is the real problem between me and my mind. Coz i can't get our things out of my head. Well, .... i rethink,...is that my mind a problem? Or you and your own character is the problem?

Please, i say to myself. I can do it. Even he isn't really deeply care with my feelings? I'm okay. Or even he can't share everything with me? I'm okay too.

I think again, actually there's no so much problems. But, i don't know why, i just feel that i was only one of your....robot....? I think i make my mood due to your mood, which is sooo moody. When you are happy, you'll be nice to me. But, when you have a problem, you keep quiet and don't want me to know. But, you wish that i know and i can understand. How can?

So, instead of fighting, I keep silence to everything, and i am tired. Why? Coz you always right. I told you what i feel, then you must always have a reason for that. After a fight, then you will say "I am tired of fighting" (seems like you are tired go on with me, and it hurts).

I keep encourage myself. I can do it. We can make this relationship works. It's all just need time. And need my understanding to you and your life.

Blessed Christmas

Today is Christmas day. Well, i am thinking that this year just gonna fly and walk into the new year 2012. It just 7 more days, and we're gonna left 2011 already. Time flies so fast. 2011 just gave me so lot moments and precious lessons. Eventhough that's nice or bad, i'm writing now with very grateful heart that i can walk through all of that.

This Christmas must be so meaningful to me. This blessed day i hope gonna be a blessed start for my life. Thanks God, You gave him to me. He, who filled my days for these couple months. Maybe he has so many weakness sides, but I have an optimism that he is a good one. I believe, i met him and we can get together now must be a reason for that. Thanks God for the chance to us to try this.

I learnt that he is nice, and caring people actually. But, somehow he is easily forget things and doesn't like to think too much unnecessary things. That's why his 'caring' sometimes seems invisible. When he get some important things to do, he is 101% do that. 101% i think is for his own self-actualization or pride to himself. I can understand that and i appreaciate that.

Well, at last, i'd just like to say Merry Christmas to all of you. May all your wishes come true...

I say to myself that...

Everytime we quarrel n fight about some things, I get know you better and better. And I thanks God for that. Eventhough I know I had my stupid mouth. Well, Sometimes it's make us going down, or sometimes it's going up. Sometimes I am afraid, sometimes I become trust you more. But later I learnt so many precious lessons from it, and I want to understand you more n more.....

But, sometimes i'm tired. Tired of our fighting. Tired of trying to understand you more, while i think you don't understand me. We had some difference in our thoughts about "love" concept. And somehow i get afraid and feeling unsecure, when i know about your thinking, eventhough maybe that's the fact. 

When you share to me about your friend's lovestory, which is 'not so serious to a woman then after some stupid things they became serious' and you said that's just a story you wanna share. Eventhough i don't want, i may think that you-are-like-that. Then you said that you are slower than me to make sure about your feelings and our relationship. Well, i know that thing actually so damn common and real. But, when i think more about that, i just can't really accept that.

At last, I keep encourage myself and keep learn more and more because i want this thing works. I know, To make it works, it all needs effort and commitment.. I don't know how deep you are to me, but i do as much as i can do.. I try my best and i don't expect much from you.. So that i won't be so disappointed..

I love you, and i want to love you...

Quickie Bali : Foodism Trip

I just came back from my quickie holiday. Haha. No special planning. No special ocassion. Just follow some friends. And, we had some nice trip there, eventhough there were some intrict inside..
Then, i go Bali. So simple like that. Haha. But this time i went Bali wasn't soo crazy like i did before. I even didn't do what i really want to do : Bungy Jumping :'(... because no more money left in my wallet... We ate tooooo much delicious food which cost sooo expensive. Bali's price, not Surabaya's price.. hate that*.
Even, when we go party, just 2 days we go party. The rest of 2-3 more days, we just stay sleep at guesthouse when it goes 11pm :'(.

But, quite lot of good foods there. We ate some of these....

Naughty Nuri's -- Speciality in Pork Ribs.. Very delicious, price is quite nice..
Location : Ubud and Kerobokan

Bebek Bengil.. Delicious is normal.. but very nice place.. price is quite reasonable..
Location : Ubud

Bubba Gump _ Shrimp Co.. Very very delicious.. But very pricey..
Location : Kuta, near Discovery

This plank is how they treat us the customers when we need them... Blue plank means nothing to service.. and when u need some service, just flip the plank to red plank, so they will asap come to your table.. nice idea !!

Bottom of the glass, they have some little gap, so you canput the next glass upon the other one.. Haha..

These were what we order.. Soooo nice and delicious.. Actually we have so many other menus we wanna try, but no time and we keep tryin these 3 menus only.. Pork ribs, Shrimp Cajun (very nice), and Some fish..

The Interior of BubbaGump

When we order main menu, they give us a dessert bonus.. This is Lemon Cake

The other dessert bonus.. but i forgot what it was

Then we go to Flapjacks.. and this burger was sooo damn nice :)

Last but not least, these were our glasses put on the Flapjack's table.. hahaha

Well, however...
That was pretty nice trip that i can know more my friends better, but the other side, i know the bad things bout the other friends too. But, i enjoyed my travelling time. I enjoyed being together with my friends. Eventhough some if their character arent't very good, but i'm glad i know them all. Just be smart to response how they act to you :)