I often heard everybody said, we can respect what we have now after we lost it. Have you heard that? I think, it always happened in real world and our life. Somebody said to me too, manage your time well, always walk on your life like tomorrow is your last day you live in the world.
It's late night, and i am very on-the-mood to write down what i just know from my friends and how the way i feel right now. That was about respect our family, especially our parents. I'm definitely not really feel comfortable with my parents for our different thinking and the way how to live our life. I always think, how was the fastest way to can live freely without them. I mean i love them, but i am not fit with their style and i don't want they intervene my life too much.
Very dillematic. Because i don't like their thinking and style, but however they are my parents.Sometimes i think that i am not behave nicely. Even i am not good enough to be a daughter. Sometimes i yell at them. I am angry with them. I am not serving them nicely. Eventhough my heart loves them so, and they know that. I take care of them, but when they behave so strangely i became angry to them or not feeling satisfied with them. I took compare with other people. And, result is exactly another parents are not as captious as my parents. Haha.
I take my friend go home. We know each other quite some time. We hangout together with another friends, but not so often talking. While i'm driving, we chat some conversations, He told me that his parents passed away already 5-10 years ago. I'm not really sure for that. But well...actually i'm quite shocked after i heard that......
First is, for me, he really looks childish and very laid back people. I said it "Just want to have fun". But, who knows, deep inside his life, he must work hard to survive. Because, he has no parents to leaned on anymore. Eventhough i'm not pretty sure how was he exactly, but think that, really don't judge a book by its cover.Because all books have its story inside.
Second is, then i looked back at myself. Do i ready if one day my parents left me too? And my heart say NO. Suddenly i feel that i haven't doing something for them. Even usually i am thinking that : It's not me who want to live in this world. But however i have to believe in fate that i was born in this family. And i have to do something to respect them. Much more, i always grumpy in this family.
Maybe they aren't so perfect parents, but i have to learn to receive their imperfect as family. Maybe i still can't do something big for them. But, i want to start from my heart, to not always so grumpy, much more love and patient to them, and also be nice to them. Maybe i still can't feel so comfortable with their style and thinking, but i hope i can just listen that, not confront them to make them feel ok, but i still stand on my own thinking. I think that's the fair way.
Just simple 'something'. But i hope that will make a better me.
No comments:
Post a Comment