Need to explode something

Just 3 days ago, i wrote so nice things, then today i write again not in a good-mood condition.

I still don't know what things really make me angry. Hmm, maybe not angry. Just... a little..... disappointed, or maybe.... not feeling good.
Still don't know too what is the real problem between me and my mind. Coz i can't get our things out of my head. Well, .... i rethink,...is that my mind a problem? Or you and your own character is the problem?

Please, i say to myself. I can do it. Even he isn't really deeply care with my feelings? I'm okay. Or even he can't share everything with me? I'm okay too.

I think again, actually there's no so much problems. But, i don't know why, i just feel that i was only one of your....robot....? I think i make my mood due to your mood, which is sooo moody. When you are happy, you'll be nice to me. But, when you have a problem, you keep quiet and don't want me to know. But, you wish that i know and i can understand. How can?

So, instead of fighting, I keep silence to everything, and i am tired. Why? Coz you always right. I told you what i feel, then you must always have a reason for that. After a fight, then you will say "I am tired of fighting" (seems like you are tired go on with me, and it hurts).

I keep encourage myself. I can do it. We can make this relationship works. It's all just need time. And need my understanding to you and your life.

Blessed Christmas

Today is Christmas day. Well, i am thinking that this year just gonna fly and walk into the new year 2012. It just 7 more days, and we're gonna left 2011 already. Time flies so fast. 2011 just gave me so lot moments and precious lessons. Eventhough that's nice or bad, i'm writing now with very grateful heart that i can walk through all of that.

This Christmas must be so meaningful to me. This blessed day i hope gonna be a blessed start for my life. Thanks God, You gave him to me. He, who filled my days for these couple months. Maybe he has so many weakness sides, but I have an optimism that he is a good one. I believe, i met him and we can get together now must be a reason for that. Thanks God for the chance to us to try this.

I learnt that he is nice, and caring people actually. But, somehow he is easily forget things and doesn't like to think too much unnecessary things. That's why his 'caring' sometimes seems invisible. When he get some important things to do, he is 101% do that. 101% i think is for his own self-actualization or pride to himself. I can understand that and i appreaciate that.

Well, at last, i'd just like to say Merry Christmas to all of you. May all your wishes come true...

I say to myself that...

Everytime we quarrel n fight about some things, I get know you better and better. And I thanks God for that. Eventhough I know I had my stupid mouth. Well, Sometimes it's make us going down, or sometimes it's going up. Sometimes I am afraid, sometimes I become trust you more. But later I learnt so many precious lessons from it, and I want to understand you more n more.....

But, sometimes i'm tired. Tired of our fighting. Tired of trying to understand you more, while i think you don't understand me. We had some difference in our thoughts about "love" concept. And somehow i get afraid and feeling unsecure, when i know about your thinking, eventhough maybe that's the fact. 

When you share to me about your friend's lovestory, which is 'not so serious to a woman then after some stupid things they became serious' and you said that's just a story you wanna share. Eventhough i don't want, i may think that you-are-like-that. Then you said that you are slower than me to make sure about your feelings and our relationship. Well, i know that thing actually so damn common and real. But, when i think more about that, i just can't really accept that.

At last, I keep encourage myself and keep learn more and more because i want this thing works. I know, To make it works, it all needs effort and commitment.. I don't know how deep you are to me, but i do as much as i can do.. I try my best and i don't expect much from you.. So that i won't be so disappointed..

I love you, and i want to love you...

Quickie Bali : Foodism Trip

I just came back from my quickie holiday. Haha. No special planning. No special ocassion. Just follow some friends. And, we had some nice trip there, eventhough there were some intrict inside..
Then, i go Bali. So simple like that. Haha. But this time i went Bali wasn't soo crazy like i did before. I even didn't do what i really want to do : Bungy Jumping :'(... because no more money left in my wallet... We ate tooooo much delicious food which cost sooo expensive. Bali's price, not Surabaya's price.. hate that*.
Even, when we go party, just 2 days we go party. The rest of 2-3 more days, we just stay sleep at guesthouse when it goes 11pm :'(.

But, quite lot of good foods there. We ate some of these....

Naughty Nuri's -- Speciality in Pork Ribs.. Very delicious, price is quite nice..
Location : Ubud and Kerobokan

Bebek Bengil.. Delicious is normal.. but very nice place.. price is quite reasonable..
Location : Ubud

Bubba Gump _ Shrimp Co.. Very very delicious.. But very pricey..
Location : Kuta, near Discovery

This plank is how they treat us the customers when we need them... Blue plank means nothing to service.. and when u need some service, just flip the plank to red plank, so they will asap come to your table.. nice idea !!

Bottom of the glass, they have some little gap, so you canput the next glass upon the other one.. Haha..

These were what we order.. Soooo nice and delicious.. Actually we have so many other menus we wanna try, but no time and we keep tryin these 3 menus only.. Pork ribs, Shrimp Cajun (very nice), and Some fish..

The Interior of BubbaGump

When we order main menu, they give us a dessert bonus.. This is Lemon Cake

The other dessert bonus.. but i forgot what it was

Then we go to Flapjacks.. and this burger was sooo damn nice :)

Last but not least, these were our glasses put on the Flapjack's table.. hahaha

Well, however...
That was pretty nice trip that i can know more my friends better, but the other side, i know the bad things bout the other friends too. But, i enjoyed my travelling time. I enjoyed being together with my friends. Eventhough some if their character arent't very good, but i'm glad i know them all. Just be smart to response how they act to you :)

久的不去，新的不来 ~ New Start..

久的不去，新的不来 (Jiu De Bu Qu, Xin De Bu Lai). These words are chinese words means : If the old one not go away, there will be no chanche the new one to come in.

I think that is very make sense actually.
I'm on the moving on proccess, and i feel it's so wonderful. I mean, in these times, i can see my world from different views. I can see some new people with different views too.

I met a guy. He is a lil bit big and fat. Handsome? Hmm, i gave him 7 out of 10 la. But, he is nice. He likes to haha-hihi everywhere. Maybe people see him like a party people (and he is actually!!), but deep inside he was kind of thinker person. He was kind of survival in life i think. And i appreciate that.

I see him clearly again. Well, what's his special among the other guy? Hmm.. Not so can found any answer. But somehow, i just feel click with him. Feels like trustable and reliable.
Then, what do you think? Go on .. or... not?

Sometimes, we need third people to view things from another views.......and sometimes not....

Bye-bye Song

Yen-J 嚴爵 Yan Jue New Album 2011- A Good Things  好的事情 Hao De Shi Qing


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lB7z9J1G6A&feature=player_embedded
休  息 是  为  了 走  更   长    的 路
xiū xi shì wèi le zǒu gèng cháng de lù
你 就  是  我 的 旅 途
nǐ jiù shì wǒ de lǚ tú
都  是  因  为  你   我 一 直  漫  步
dōu shì yīn wèi nǐ   wǒ yì zhí màn bù
想    要  跟  你 一 起 走  到  最  后
xiǎng yào gēn nǐ yì qǐ zǒu dào zuì hòu
但  我 遗 失  了 地 图
dàn wǒ yí shī le dì tú
谁   给  谁   束  缚   谁   比 谁   辛  苦
shuí gěi shuí shù fù   shuí bǐ shuí xīn kǔ
爱 到  深   处  才  会  领   悟
ài dào shēn chù cái huì lǐng wù

好  的 事  情     最  后  虽  然  结  束
hǎo de shì qíng   zuì hòu suī rán jié shù
感  动   十  分    就  有  十  分  满  足
gǎn dòng shí fēn   jiù yǒu shí fēn mǎn zú
谢  谢  你   是  你 陪  我 走  过  那 些  路
xiè xiè nǐ   shì nǐ péi wǒ zǒu guò nà xiē lù
痛     是  以 后  无 法 再  给  你 幸   福
tòng   shì yǐ hòu wú fǎ zài gěi nǐ xìng fú

好  的 事  情     也 许 能   够  重    复
hǎo de shì qíng   yé xǔ néng gòu chóng fù
感  动   时  分    就  算   纷  纷  模 糊
gǎn dòng shí fēn   jiù suàn fēn fēn mó hu
不 要  哭   至  少   你 和 我 记 得 很  清   楚
bú yào kū   zhì shǎo nǐ hé wǒ jì dé hěn qīng chu
爱   是  为  彼 此 祝  福
ài   shì wéi bí cǐ zhù fú


When you stay alone, somehow your brain will always think and think. Endless think.. Yesterday, i finally realized that me and my-ndut is already done. Over.
I need to move on. I can't stay foolish like this always and anymore.
Then, i say to myself to wake-up now. I go write some BBM to him, tell what i'm feelin that time.
We spoke nicely, finish it all clearly, and just save some moments in our deepest heart.

I heard this song, and i think it represent what i'm feeling to you.
Then, You and i, both of us, let us find our happiness with our own way
Wish u all the best, ndut :)

I close this page in my book already, start now... n i'm ready for my next chapter..

My First Jackpot

Last sunday, i was really really in the crazy mood to do something crazy. Just because i'm so up and down :'( (Till now actually i'm still so up and down.. hikss), and i really need something to explode it. Then, when time goes to 22.30, one of my close friend ask me wheter i want to go out to some place for have some snacks or what. But, at last we go to the club. Haha.

You know, this time was the really first time i got so drunk~!! Drunk here, i mean i can't even remember what did i do for the range time between when i got so drunk till i go home, and the next day i completely forgot, really!! But, that's feels nice. Awesome. Haha. One thing not fun is the next day, i had so so much headache.. :s which is i have to go work till 5pm. Can you imagine how crazy i am for the whole day?

But, its absolutely nice try to explode sometimes ;D.. my 2 friends accompany me there, became my bodyguard haha, since i was very messy and make all things messy!! They said, i kept dancing all night (and i even don't remember anyhing x-x), i always bumped my self to the wall, table, etc and also keep keep drinking.. woaa..

Well, nice time. Maybe i need again next weekend. I'm kinda crazy soooo right now :s