Stand by You

Courtessy to : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Fu3jZ_f4Mw

It says what do i feel n always wanted to say....

TED-dy Part 2

Prut gave me TED bear for last valentine 2013 !!!!! (so lateeee to post it yaaa)....
We are already 26 hahaha, but still love this lovely bear :p

Thank u Prut ^^

Ted photoshoot.. i gave the scarf...haha.. like a very calm bear  ^^

Sailor Ted.. Prut said this is horrible !!! xx like a superman.........

Prut's Bday

*post yang seharusnya udah lamaaaa banget utk dipost...

January is a special month for us. Cos both ur birthday is on January !! This time i will write about what am i doin for Prut's bday...

I have been thinking long time before, what should i do for his birthday? Last year, our friends come at the day to give surprise, but it didn't work well.. x.x.. I want to make that day meaningful and made him happy all day.. --> so i think, i have to do in the morning....maybe before he wake up...?.. As in, he always sleep like a dead bear... Zzz... zz.. so, he shouldn't awake when i sneak into his room...

Then... how about the themes...?

Last year, i made a Angry Bird themes.. :p but, it did just....yeah...fine... not so bombastic.. Haha.. So, i think maybe this time should be a lil out-of-usual-nicely things...

We used to call each other ... Mbeng... KAMBENG... which means.. GOAT !!! hahaha.. i dunno why and how did it start, but it works till now.... so...

06.30, i sneaked into Prut's room, and quickly decorate his room with some pics :p and prepare him a goat cake (actually it was sheep, i can't find goat one... but looks like a lil same haha..), and made a candle for him...
I don't know did he really enjoy it or not... Yeah well, but at least i do my best !!

This is i put on Hun's TV cupboard.. in front of his bed...

How cute is the cake isn't it? At last, we didn't TEGA to cut it.. hahaha.. and it stay still at Prut's fridge haha..

Put this on his TV.. like he always look at CNBC..

I put a tiger as Prut's shio, then it become goat... haha

Back of the main door

On the monitor.. as u can see it blinks trading number chart... "AMD Intel" means.. that day Prut was thinking to upgrade his computer..to.... amd? or intel..?

Do u know this character? It's SVEN.. i like it so much.. (even he used to looks like so pervert.. haha... but i think he is cute).. this pic means Prut dreams to have a nice holiday --which he didn;t have it for loooong time---- and have a YARBO (this is his name's car i made -- means Yaris Turbo **)

I can't think now what themes for Prut's bday will be for next year... or the next next year.....idea out of stock already hahaha...
Well, anyway, "Happy birthday my Prut" *say it at January*...

Muuuucchh...

There is a moment when you hope that time can stop and capture that forever... Lately, there were a lot of that feelings happened to some moments. I had a bad week with Prut  2 or 3 weeks ago. Me, my stupid careless emotional mouth, and our fight. Feel bad about that.
But that was a turning point for me. I realized i have to be more mature, and not so selfish. I admit my fault, i feel very regret, and really really don't wanna do that again. I renew my own commitment to myself about Prut and this relationship.
After that, i dunno.... I feel very value every time i spent with Hun. Treasure every happy moments and don't wanna break it. More respect Hun's says. And feel much deeper Hun's care and love to me.
Sometimes we share our fear about our future. Prut tell me how i meant in his eyes, and through all of these.
Yeah, actually it's been more that our one year already, and i flash back...there were quite lot things we spent together through the times.

We like to spend our time cuddling each other. It feels good and comfy. Love to hug u tight. This week i'd just feel much muuucchhh moment that i treasure so much. I miss all those moments, and hope it stays forever. Just u and me, without shits around us, to sharing life each other together.... I fall in love with you everytime i remember all those moments..again...and again...

In front of you, and maybe us is dark..thinking when will that shits end...but i hope you stay strong...for us... As i do....for you.... Cause i know how worth is ours, to be waited and hoped...

Love u....always...

1 Fake Rose

It's just like an ordinary midnight till morning day like usual.....so usual.... till somehow i feel weird bout Hun being so not-care with remembering my day....

I am not a "birthday-have-tobe-blast" person. I prefer to make it simple. I can feel so meaningful by just remember it nicely, make me happy all day, or just being care and listen to me. I don't hate surprise, otherwise i'd love to. Who the hell in this world doesn't like to be special, to be surprised by others?

Okay, then, he started to say happy bday to me at about 11AM...and it feels so weird that he do that like being forced or so. Why don't you say that at midnight, or at morning when we just wake up? It makes me think that he really forget, and just now remembered. And after say that by BBM, he just like.....doesn't care anymore. I said, i don't need to be BLARRR... HAPPY BDAYYY.... and so much romantic bla bla so so.....but......how the way he doing all day........... it feels ck....i am not so special for him... how he say just like so unprepared.... I am not angry, but makes my day a little not in the mood.

It makes me grumpy to him (in my heart) all day, but i'm not showed it up cos we just contact by BBM. Till  at night 8pm, he surprisingly come in front my house..... i am so bad-mood at him actually....... -____-;; ...why are you just coming now??? why are you looking so don't care all day?? then he start to give me a bucket of roses, and a cake...I'm still bad mood at that time....i think he must be so hate me that  time....hahahaha... But later on we talk...talk...talk.....he told me how the way he was trying to do a suprise for me, and i see how rush he was trying to manage his time within his un-multitasking personality......then suddenly i feel his love and effort to me....

And when i think again now....i was so blessed and thankful to my Hun for his time to prepare the surprise for me (which is failed to accomplished at last hahaha..), also (once again) really ......... for his patient and kindness to stay with me within my childish cranky, my grumpy mood and need to be pampered............. I know i was sometimes like a jerk....

Some sides i think we are just so different, but Hun keeps make me believe that's why we are so different, just to complete each other... Sometimes the way Hun love ne is not really what i like, and so the otherwise. But it doesn't matter as long as we know the purpose. My friend said, the happiest couple never have the same character, they have the best understanding of their differences......That's so true... ♡ ❤

Btw, i was really think he was forget my day--> this one Hun's mission accomplished x_x

Okay, now i am going to tell about my flower... (",)...........I love flowers, very much.... (Hun, please look at my BB wallpaper.. hahahaha...) ...maybe i'll post about kind of flower later....hahaha...

It is a bucket of 26 roses (which is mean my age..)...

"I gave you 26 roses, 25 real and one fake.... And i shall love you till the last one falls........", Hun's says...... ♡ ❤

2013

Liburnya cepet bangetttttt..... :( :( :(

Yah, sudah tanggal 2...... Sejak Natal sampai skrg rasanya cepetttttt bangettt, berasa libur tapi juga ga terlalu berasa libur.... :'(
Entah kenapa hari ini berasa banget pengen nulisss nulisss nulisss..... mungkin merasa kebanyakan dosa karena udah bolak-balik bilang mau nulis tapi selalu gagal.. hehehe...

Spend this holiday mostly with Hun, and filled with so many quality times together :D. Apalagi habis ngga ketemu lama 10 hari-an waktu aku pergi tgl 10-21des sebelumnya, kayaknya pas ketemu lagi sm Hun berasa beda....

Feels deeply missed each other with so limited communication, (except BBM), plus the feeling that we're gonna get 1 year anniv (we've more understand each other), and maybe............ we are getting more mature, bring us (for me, this is how i feel !!) to one step ahead for our emotional bond feeling.
The level of acceptance and tolerable for us is getting higher. Understand more, so know more how to react each other. Even we are angry with each other, it's quick to forgive and things get normal easily.

I can feel Hun's love through his attitude to me, his patience for sometimes my childish-ngambek o:) (*wajar donk...semua cewek pasti bisa ngambek..... :p :p ), and also through his eyes... (ciehhh....), do you Hun? :p

Nggak bisa tulis lagi satu-satu, yang pasti it takes u deeper and deeper. I really really feel not the same anymore with our feeling at the beginning. Deeper, and addicted...

Semoga tahun 2013 semuanya tambah dilancarkan ya,.,........ Amin.... o:)

Happy New Year all ....

1st anniv...

Yay !
Finally.......me n Hun reach one year already.... \v^o^v/

Soooo..... i was thinking to capture our together moments the whole day of our 1st anniversary...

06.00
The day was started with me going to Hun's house, and quietly come in to his room, while he was sleeping at that moment. Yah, biasa sih soalnya Hun kalau tidur pasti kayak ba-bi, jadi ngga tahu kalo aku menyelinap.. hehe... (sebenernya sih ya tahu, karena kemarinnya memang udah dipesenin suruh bangunin pagi  dateng sana hahaha)

Inside the selimut.. hihihi..

Sekalian dah, aku kasih fotonya kamar si Hun, which is actually neat (soalnya ada pembantu yg beresin tiap hari haha), but the computer table is a lil bit messy..

Buat ngebangunin Hun, harus ada....

Important things to wake Hun up

Yap! A delicious n tasty cup of coffee (catat! kudu delicious) and cigarrette, but coffee is the most important one.

Setelah pake acara ma-sih ma-las ba-ngun n ti-dur la-gi du-lu 15-me-nit, akhirnya  Hun bangun pukul...


07.00
Huray !
A tasty and healthy breakfast served in room. That is..

 +            

We just bought the day before, looks nice, and (catat!) 50% discount hahaha...

Sebagai seorang pacar yang baik... (*wink), langsung kuisi penuh-penuh semangkok weet-bix dengan susu, yang ternyata......REALLY DELICIOUS !!!!
And healthy !
(Penjelasan untuk healthy nya nggak usah dijelaskan di sini hehe..pokoknya jadi 'lancar' gitu deh,..)

14.00
The whole day we spent with being a crazy-lazy-moo, just Zzz, watch TV, eating bakso, and playing computer game. This computer game is Hun's favourite. Name is Assasin Creed.
Pas main, Hun mintanya ditemenin di samping komputer, yang mana ujung-ujungnya nyoba dimainin berdua hihihi.,...

Assasin Creed

TV mostly on is Discovery Turbo.... or.... CNBC.. haha

20.00
Setelah sedikit bla-bla, akhirnya kita mutusin untuk have  an anniversary dinner  hari itu juga, sekalian Christmas dinner lah... Makannya ke...

Palimanan Cafe

Review :
Nice place, nice surrounding, food taste  is B, not A, price is affordable but the tax is 21% -___-;;

Nice place and view...golf view... hohoho...

Salmon apa gitu..

Spring Chicken

Mkanannya yaaa lumayan lah, aku ordernya Spring Chicken. Veggienya tasty banget sipp, chicken nya agak biasa...tapi besoknya aku langsung sakit tenggorokan x_x entah karena makan ini atau memang lagi sakit wkwkwk....

Suasama remang-remang...

But sadly, because of the remang-remang suasana, we can't capture our photo nicely.

And last, i inserted my edited our self-cam pic ^^ This is finally i post my real photo.. :D

11th

I was quite upset yesterday, maybe because of my mood and situation in my home. I was soooo moody, and made Hun quite sad... :(

Well, but i think, yesterday was a turning point for me. Maybe it really need to happened, so can widen my mind. After thinking and talking much with Hun, i finally can feel relieved. Maybe Hun did wrong things to me. So do i to Hun. We often made mistakes to each other. Things not always going in our way. But i realized, i believe in Hun. This trust that i wrote before, supposed to be more powerful than my super-too-much-thinking mind. So, I don't want to think too much anymore about anything that supposed not to be thought now.

When my mind flashed about losing you, i realized how happy i am with you now. How grateful i am to have you in my life. So many things to be happy with you. Even just simple things, living our daily life, sharing our daily activities together, feels that our heart so firm. Still so many nice story to be wrote along our together way.

Thank you Hun for open my eyes...
Happy eleven-month anniversary, Prut ! And may it last ever-after..

Super Miss! !!!

It is an ordinary working day. But i miss u super super now.... :'(

Sunday Talk

I just got home from spending this day with Hun. We talk a lot today. Maybe it was not really nice talk. But i think (and i hope) it was constructive and educative for both of us and this relationship. We were talking about something serious, and one of the serious one is something that Hun like to joke me about.

I don't like when Hun joke around about that things to me. And  i complain to him about that. We talked a lot and Hun tell me his view, and also so do i. I feel very relieved after that. And unexpectedly, when Hun keep jokes me that things, i feel.....fine!! I don't feel bad things in my minds, but just take that as a real jokes too. Haha..

Thank you my Hun for being so nice to me. For want to ask what i feel and try to understand it. I always said that you were so rude, always do what you want without care my feeling, and so on. But actually, i know you do care for me, even you are not sensitive people, you care with me, doing that with your own way. Thank you for take me to Atom and pick me up there yesterday, within your busy and tiring day.

As a human, maybe we always do that (like you said), that people's wrongs will always be remembered. But people's right get forgotten easily. o_O..
Sorry for that prut... I hope i can always do my best for you. Cos i really want to get together with you for my future..

... a Story...

Trust you, means i don't want to remember anymore about your pasts, nor to feel hurt or sad anymore about that, nor complaining to you , or even have a lil worry in my heart.

But, to leave your past and my past behind, and step forward..... .together we travel our life journey... create  our own love story... fill it with ups and downs inside.... And one day, we look behind, and be grateful for those precious story....

*love*

Love is...

Love is about creating a story together. It may have a plain, nice, sad, emotional, caring, hated, and whatever it may come.. Love is not always about being happy and in perfect condition. It also about being at the most critical point condition. But how you solve your problems together and how both of u try to understand each other...
That"s you called it love-story....

TED-dy

I had a very nice weekend with you, Hun.. Thanks for waking me up today with your call. That was very very rare! Haha.. Then we had a nice dimsum breakfast. It always being what we want but we never done before. Next is we aregoing to watch TED and eat some yogurt ice cream.

The very last perfect weekend is i sleep very tight just when we watched movie in home. I like to sleep while you are awake beside me watching movie or doing your things. Don't know why, just like it. Feels safe... *kiss*

Burger Time

My Hun is quite a busy working man, and he's can't really take care of himself. And somehow i feel bad for myself, if i can't take care of him too, esp. about his meals, health, and his daily little things. Actually from the beginning, i already decide to be a good girlfriend with cook some foods for Hun, and also practice for my future *wink* haha. But, as i don't have to many spare time and also my laziness, so i am not so often cooking.

What have i cooked for him? If i get a list, number one is Pangsit/ Dumplings Noode, but at first i always make it too salty. Then, Sayur Bening, Pork Ribs Soup, Kolokee, Some Stir-fry vegetables, Spagethi Carbonara, and American Breakfast. I realized that Hun maybe like western food more. So, last friday i decide to cook for him. Well, it's actually i prepare the ingredients, and we cook it together.

I plan to make a burger. "Burger" that word has a special meaning for us. I don't know why, but when we say burger, somehow we say it bu-ger. Without "r" in the middle. And it sounds so funny for us. Then, when Hun came back from HK working trip, i don't know whyyyy, he bought me a huge pack of jelly burger of Aji-Ichiban. x_x

Burger Jelly

Okay, I prepare the burger bun, patty, some vegetables, dressing, cheese, egg, and french fries. Well,at last it's quite delicious i think, but our burger become soooo huge. I'm very happy that friday. That was one of a very nice weekend i spend with Hun.

Agak belepotan piringnya... yg penting rasanya yum yum... ;:)

Love u.. ♥

Miss U x_x

This month went quite busy for us, since the gold's price going crazy  and make this time become the busiest month ever. Like now, you are going fly far away from me here in Surabaya.

Yesterday we had a big fight :'( i don't know what happenned till we can be like that. I am sad, super sad, and don't want to repeat that again for our relationship. Your words were vey deep for me . I hope we can learnt a lot from that situation for the next. I'm so sorry of i did wrong things which make u feel sad. But i do respect and listen to you, not because you ask me. I want to and i want to always and more do that. Hope you trust me and can see my sincerity.

Sometimes things goes wrong and not always be in my way, nor yours. But today i want tonlearn more again again, that love is also about understanding, willing, patience, and not let my ego always win, when things not always going to the way i wanted. I know its not easy, cos i failed many times when emotion  take over our logics, we become stubborn and argue each other endlessly....but i want to learn, cos i have a trust in this relationship.

You dont like to talk a lot  bout your feeling to me, but let me have a time yo more understand you. More and mote i become casually understand te way you love and carenme with your 1001 crazy methods.... thank you for loving me, doing everything for me, and let mebbe tebone in your heart... i reallt dont want to let you dowm.... trust me... and promise me too to love me and thus relationship more and more...however it is...

I am happy you said i became your wingman, your partner, and i still want to be like that still mbengy....

Miss u soooo now, for you very far from me, and cannot use bb !!!!! miss your tickle, miss your crazy fart, miss the way you speak to me rudely, miss your small angry to me, miss your snore, miss you sleep by my side, miss bugerrrr, miss your funny face calling me mbrutty... tongy....

We ♥ ❤ ♥

Love is not always what we see in the movie, being haha-hihi and happy. But trial and sadness, teach us what the meaning of trust, sincerity, and toughness. Cos love is not just a magic feeling from the sky bowed into our heart, but we need an effort, after that magic feeling already in our heart. That's called "WANT-to love".

Means.. put "i" become "we", put "mine" become "ours", then set aside our ego, give more receive less, and our willingness to do the all the best we can do for this relationship blended together into it....

♥ ❤ ♥ 

Pret A Prut

Kinda boring for me now a days. Work doesn't so busy, and nothing much i can do for it. But not for Hun. He-is-very-very-busy now.

Our holiday last month didn't get through very nicely like what we called 'a holiday', cos we had some family need to be cared. So, we spent about first 4-5 days to spent separately at our home. Doing nothing. Oh, so boring ! But i like the way we spent the next 6 days. We do nothing, just spend our time together, cos we can't go far from Surabaya.

Every working day our work need to be monitored till night. So, day off make our mind a lil bit relaxed, cos we don't feel like we are always in a rush. And that things is what we did. I miss the nights we spent together...
And when i think about that, i miss the moment we spent 2days in Malang last July too. It felt very warm for us, fun and nice!! We are very rare to do that kind of things

Well, it's only 2 hours you flied, left Surabaya already, and you haven't landed yet but i already wrote so long about us. Prutty, i miss u soooo xoxo.. Maybe it feels like you fly far away, not like usual just Singapore.. And sometimes "thinking too much" (you called it "xdt" haha) often visit my mind, especially for the sensitive-issue. Hahaha. Well, i always make efforts to manage more with it.

Loving you just teach me more to know and understand about myself, and life.
Never give up.

Promise

Mbengpruttt...
I am crying now while i am thinking our relationship right now. These days i am not too happy and made us not always in good mood. Maybe some are your fault, and some are my own thinking or feeling too much. Then today we talk a lot based on my own bad feeling.

Fact is i dont want to lose you :'( :'( :'(... damn so much...  Sometimes i do hate you so much when you are sooooooo damn "mbencekno". But i still dont want to give up. Still dont want to lose you. Really.....

Thank you for your effort to me. I appreaciate so much. Maybe i cant see or always complain, but i can feel and i want to trust you. Through the good times and bad times i dont want tolose you. Hope you feelthe same with me. Sorry if sometimes i was very childish and like to be angry .
Keep today promise , and i'll prove it to you that i dont want to lose you, even just in my imaginatin.

Thank you for today. Thank you for yesterday. Thank you for the last 2 days. You have been so patient to care me and face my childish. I do feel really grateful for that....Love you....

Still

Kadang ketika aku melihat sekelilingku, ingin rasanya aku tak usah mempercayai semua yang ada. Hidup bagaikan sebuah mainan, sebuah misteri, yang tak tahu kemana akan membawa kita melangkah.

Semua yang ada di dunia ini terasa seperti kebohongan dan penuh dengan muslihat serta intrik. Sikap hati yang bagaimana yang harus aku pegang dalam melihat masalah-masalah yang ada?

Dunia sekitarku yang penuh ambiguitas dan topeng senyum, membuatku menjadi seseorang yang sangat suka berpikir, menganalisa, kadang cenderung impulsif, melankolis, dan mendambakan suatu kehidupan yang sederhana saja.

Asal bisa hidup tentram bersama orang yang kita saling mencintai saja sudah cukup... Perasaan dimiliki dan memiliki serta keterikatan dengan orang yang kita cintai, sambil berbagi hidup sehari-hari dengan damai, bagiku sudah pantas untuk menyandang status "bahagia".

Berbagi hidup dengan seseorang mungkin terlihat gampang. Tetapi berkaca pada sekitarku, mungkin...juga tidak segampang itu. Aku pun juga belum pernah hidup berumah-tangga. Rasanya bagaimana aku tidak tahu. Aku kadang hanya seseorang yang terlalu mengagungkan cinta, percaya 100% dengan kata itu sendiri. Salah kah?

Hari ini aku menulis ini, bukan karena aku mau terus menganalisa dalam pikiranku yang penuh dengan pikiran negatif. Tapi, supaya suatu hari aku bisa membuka lagi catatan ini, dan aku sadar bahwa aku masih tetap mau menjadi orang yang percaya akan cinta.

Masih tetap sama ke-naif-anku untuk mempercayai cinta itu sendiri, dan memberikan diriku 100% untuknya. Aku percaya pada harapan. Aku percaya pada diriku sendiri. Aku percaya pada Tongy-ku yang sekarang kita bersama. Terlebih, aku percaya pada Tuhan.

Support, pengertian, sabar, dan doa. Always and should be never end.

*postingan super-absurd :s

Happy Anniversary 6-months, Mbruttong-y  xoxo..

Dear Mbruttong..

Today is as usual another wednesday, or any other day that i spent together with you. Spending our times with watch dvd while we monitor our a trading at the computer. It's so usual, so common, but i do really enjoy our times together.

Time flies so fast, while we ealized we have been together for quite some months.  April is quite bit hard times for us to synchronize. But later on it continues nicer and nicer.

Maybe it's kinda bit hard to understand me, or the other way, to understand you. But after we found the point to key on these things, i really feel glad. I'm glad that i haeve you.Told you really that i never regret that we go on together. Sometimes when i did wrong to you, i am sorry and i don't mean to do that.

I do enjoy when i hold you tight from your back, or when you so childish ask me to hold you, and hug you. I hate when you tickle me soooo much, but... sometimes i miss that :p and miss your expression when you were so happy to do that.. haha..

Thanks for your effort to do your best. I will really listen to what you say :)..  Know you and being together more and more with you, sad times or happy times, makes my heart really can't be alone without you. Even just when both of us stay quiet each other. I miss your presence. Just be there for me, and i really feel safe....