Promise

Mbengpruttt...
I am crying now while i am thinking our relationship right now. These days i am not too happy and made us not always in good mood. Maybe some are your fault, and some are my own thinking or feeling too much. Then today we talk a lot based on my own bad feeling.

Fact is i dont want to lose you :'( :'( :'(... damn so much...  Sometimes i do hate you so much when you are sooooooo damn "mbencekno". But i still dont want to give up. Still dont want to lose you. Really.....

Thank you for your effort to me. I appreaciate so much. Maybe i cant see or always complain, but i can feel and i want to trust you. Through the good times and bad times i dont want tolose you. Hope you feelthe same with me. Sorry if sometimes i was very childish and like to be angry .
Keep today promise , and i'll prove it to you that i dont want to lose you, even just in my imaginatin.

Thank you for today. Thank you for yesterday. Thank you for the last 2 days. You have been so patient to care me and face my childish. I do feel really grateful for that....Love you....

Still

Kadang ketika aku melihat sekelilingku, ingin rasanya aku tak usah mempercayai semua yang ada. Hidup bagaikan sebuah mainan, sebuah misteri, yang tak tahu kemana akan membawa kita melangkah.

Semua yang ada di dunia ini terasa seperti kebohongan dan penuh dengan muslihat serta intrik. Sikap hati yang bagaimana yang harus aku pegang dalam melihat masalah-masalah yang ada?

Dunia sekitarku yang penuh ambiguitas dan topeng senyum, membuatku menjadi seseorang yang sangat suka berpikir, menganalisa, kadang cenderung impulsif, melankolis, dan mendambakan suatu kehidupan yang sederhana saja.

Asal bisa hidup tentram bersama orang yang kita saling mencintai saja sudah cukup... Perasaan dimiliki dan memiliki serta keterikatan dengan orang yang kita cintai, sambil berbagi hidup sehari-hari dengan damai, bagiku sudah pantas untuk menyandang status "bahagia".

Berbagi hidup dengan seseorang mungkin terlihat gampang. Tetapi berkaca pada sekitarku, mungkin...juga tidak segampang itu. Aku pun juga belum pernah hidup berumah-tangga. Rasanya bagaimana aku tidak tahu. Aku kadang hanya seseorang yang terlalu mengagungkan cinta, percaya 100% dengan kata itu sendiri. Salah kah?

Hari ini aku menulis ini, bukan karena aku mau terus menganalisa dalam pikiranku yang penuh dengan pikiran negatif. Tapi, supaya suatu hari aku bisa membuka lagi catatan ini, dan aku sadar bahwa aku masih tetap mau menjadi orang yang percaya akan cinta.

Masih tetap sama ke-naif-anku untuk mempercayai cinta itu sendiri, dan memberikan diriku 100% untuknya. Aku percaya pada harapan. Aku percaya pada diriku sendiri. Aku percaya pada Tongy-ku yang sekarang kita bersama. Terlebih, aku percaya pada Tuhan.

Support, pengertian, sabar, dan doa. Always and should be never end.

*postingan super-absurd :s

Happy Anniversary 6-months, Mbruttong-y  xoxo..

Dear Mbruttong..

Today is as usual another wednesday, or any other day that i spent together with you. Spending our times with watch dvd while we monitor our a trading at the computer. It's so usual, so common, but i do really enjoy our times together.

Time flies so fast, while we ealized we have been together for quite some months.  April is quite bit hard times for us to synchronize. But later on it continues nicer and nicer.

Maybe it's kinda bit hard to understand me, or the other way, to understand you. But after we found the point to key on these things, i really feel glad. I'm glad that i haeve you.Told you really that i never regret that we go on together. Sometimes when i did wrong to you, i am sorry and i don't mean to do that.

I do enjoy when i hold you tight from your back, or when you so childish ask me to hold you, and hug you. I hate when you tickle me soooo much, but... sometimes i miss that :p and miss your expression when you were so happy to do that.. haha..

Thanks for your effort to do your best. I will really listen to what you say :)..  Know you and being together more and more with you, sad times or happy times, makes my heart really can't be alone without you. Even just when both of us stay quiet each other. I miss your presence. Just be there for me, and i really feel safe....

XD

WAHCTBOOTBM... XD... depend on which way you want to go... :p
Anyone can guess what's that?

Midnight Talking

I'd just realized that world now a days is so much different with when i was a kid. I used to play and doing things manually. Even there are no handphone, computer, or anything else, i still can live happily and i am not suffer anything. But people now a days can't live without electronic and gadgets. Including me too now. Haha..

But my lappie just broken.... :'( I'm sad, but not that sad so much.
Well, i just realized that so many things i do is really need gadgets. Like email, data storage,photo editing, checking my trading, checking bank's account data, and of course writing this post. hehe..

I bought my lappie 2 years ago, and  i used it very carefully, sometimes even rarely used. How can it broken? Still can't believe. Not just because the money value, but i really like my lappie, esp its design and color. It has white color with combinatin of black inside.

The worst thing of the broken part is probably motherboard which stick together with the processor. And it costs so expensive to repair it. So i just put down my laptop for now. Doing my computer stuff with office computer and sometimes g-tab. I am writing now using my g-tab. Poor me that i just bought new galaxy tab, and 1 month later my lappie is broken :'( . Hope i can repair it soon.

Btw, i miss this time when i am writing this post. Is when i awake at midnight listen some musics, esp radio (WHICH IS I AM SO RARE to do that now - since blackberry can't play radio, my car's radio is broken too, and i don't have any stereoset in my room) while i am thinking and writing my thought right now.

This couple week i didn't write any post. I am quite steady and nothing much happened. I just lot thinking bout this life and keep smiling doing everything. I don't want overthink anymore  and just doing.

Yesterday i had a nice dinner with HT. 3 of them are inviting us for their together birthday dinner. I am quite enjoy that time. So long time didn't feel really comfy with them. I mean, i am comfy with all of them these last months, but yesterday is just really back to comfy feeling like when i wrote "HT Rock" post.
I don't know, i should be happy or sad or what, but i can't deny that someone's presence obviously affect me and my secureness feeling. T___T. I don't hate, but maybe when someone is coming, i slowly step back.

I am quite happy this week too, cos i can manage my feeling and control it, not letting my feeling drive myself crazy. Hehe.

Well it just midnight talking. Going to power snooze now. (I am busy playing Sims Free at my gtab now haha)
Following week awaiting for me !! Ciao !

*wrote at Saturday midnight going to Sunday

First Sunday on May

Thanks God for still put this love both in our heart.. Please guide us, bless us, encourage us,and make us complete for each other more and more..

Cos two is stronger than one, especially and just because the two is us..
I love you..

May's Hope

I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn how to be sincere. Things go wrong, so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies, so you eventually learn to trust the people you can trust, and yourself. And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It just means you've decided to look beyond life's imperfections. And no one is perfect, that's why understanding is so important.

My story taught me not to always complain (yeah, even so i'm still complain..) and just work hard if i want something, not blame unhappiness on other people, not blame any failures on other people' fortune, stop being moody and bothering people that i love just to make me comfy. Work harder than anyone else, and .not let fear stop me.

Expect the best, be prepared for the worst, f*ck what other think, and do your own thing.

Just be happy with who we are right now.

Enjoy every little things in life... for one day you'll look back and realize they were big things. Enjoy the sun when it all looks bright and shiny. Enjoy the rain and be prepared with your umbrella. An umbrella can not stop the rain, but it allows us to stand in the rain.

Just like faith in God, it may not remove our trials, but it gives us God's strength to overcome them.

(Some quotes that i got... i rewrite...mix and add with some of my thinking... i think it represent what am i feeling and thinking right now.....)