Sealed Mouth

I think it's better for me to always keep quiet, huh? When i talked my feelings to you, i hate when the answers just only "yes..", "sorry...", or you even afraid your answer gonna make me angry. You always said to me to express what am i feeling, so that you know. Then i am trying to be open to you. After you know, what will you do? "I don't have any words to say..... i don't know.....". WTF is that answer !! Can't you just a lil trying to say some nice words? I think, next time i better not saying nice words to you, than i feel disappointed if you didn't response nicely.

I'm tired for always trying to be nice to you, while you don't try that when i'm mad. I need your response, your love, your expression, your total effort to try to be nice to me. Not just try nice once, then if i don't react like what you want then you go keep silent and nothing again. I'm tired to always control my emotion, just because to avoid we fight. Coz when i tell you bla bla too much, i know you maybe gonna think too much too, then it will change your attitude to me, or maybe your feeling to me. And i don't want that happened. I don't want to feel that i am the only one who trying to love you with so much effort, while you are sooooo damn nothing..... That's make me easily to feel insecure.

I hate when you can't try to be nice to me, while you said you already nice to me. Most of all, i hate myself to always say "Well, it's ok...", then i am thinking that maybe you have many reasons why that was happened... bla bla... I always said to myself  "Okay... it's ok.. he also nice to me..." bla bla... Then my heart suddenly seems fine. 

Like this time too.

I need to be understood. Too.
Well............ i am okay..... nothing happened..... You fine? I fine.
Nice.